Sooner or later in life, everyone finds themselves in a traumatic and suffering situation. There are extreme circumstances (the death of a son, a serious illness, etc…), but there are more “simple” and daily ones, like losing your job, having economic problems or breaking up with your partner, all things that become a source of discomfort, so that the person who suffer thinks that his life no longer makes sense.
However, each of us have the innate ability to face adversity and overcome it, as well as to adapt to the new situation that is created. This ability to face traumatic events is called resilience.
When we tell a person that he is resilient, this does not mean that he has no feelings or that he isn’t able to feel discomfort or emotional pain when difficulties arise. In reality, being resilient means that after a period of insecurity, pain and uncertainty, the person is able to bring out the strength necessary to go on with his life. However, that’s not easy, but it is not an innate skill. It’s all about understanding, learning and developing certain behaviours or ways of thinking. An individual can, genetically speaking, be more vulnerable when faced with difficulties, but can be resilient if he has grown up in an environment prone to this attitude.
The most resilient people have a way of thinking that is realistic and flexible, as well as being less inclined to draw hasty conclusions or to exaggerate situations.
Furthermore, they are usually characterized by three main aspects:
- They accept reality as it is, and not as it should be.
- They believe that life has a real meaning.
- They have a great ability to improve.
And this way, like the Phoenix that rises from its own ashes, that human beings are able to overcome tragedies, learning from the past and become stronger. Anyway, family, school and society have an important role in growing a person more or less resilient.
The benefits of being resilient
Resilience helps to identify the causes of a problem (so that it does not recur in the future) and to control emotions and impulses when in a critical situation. Moreover, those who are resilient also have a realistic way of being optimistic, look positively to the future, have a positive idea of life and have the ability to always find new challenges and new opportunities to achieve greater satisfaction.